Marriage Ready: Why Premarital Education Matters | Dr. Jeremy Boden | #148

Preparing for marriage is one of the most significant steps couples take in their relationship journey. While engagement periods are filled with love, romance, and wedding planning, there's another crucial aspect that deserves attention: premarital education. According to Dr. Jeremy Bowden, professor of family science at Utah Valley University and licensed marriage and family therapist, premarital education provides invaluable benefits that can significantly impact a couple's marital success.

The Utah Marriage Commission and Utah State University have developed comprehensive resources to help couples navigate this important life transition. Dr. Bowden, who recently created the "Marriage Ready" and "Remarriage Ready" online courses available at StrongerMarriage.org, emphasizes that these research-backed resources address essential components of marital success. These free courses cover commitment, effective communication, problem-solving skills, conflict resolution, and avoiding violence and abuse in relationships.

One common misconception about premarital education is that it's only necessary for couples experiencing problems. Dr. Bowden clarifies that premarital education is primarily preventative and educational, equipping couples with tools and skills before challenges arise. As he aptly puts it, couples need to "prepare for the repair" because relationship disconnections are inevitable in any marriage. The key isn't avoiding conflict altogether but developing the ability to repair quickly and maintain many positive connections.

Research consistently shows that couples who invest time before marriage exploring expectations, learning communication and conflict resolution skills, and understanding relationship science are more likely to stay together, remain committed, work through issues, and report higher marital satisfaction. Utah has recognized these benefits by offering a $20 discount on marriage licenses for couples who complete six hours of approved relationship education or three hours of premarital counseling.

Beyond the Marriage Ready course, StrongerMarriage.org offers numerous free resources, including the Relate assessment that helps couples identify potential areas for discussion and growth. This comprehensive assessment covers various relationship dimensions from family background to communication patterns, sexuality, and finances. The site also features over 100 free e-courses on topics ranging from dating to stepfamily dynamics.

For remarried couples, Dr. Bowden has developed the specialized "Remarriage Ready" course. Drawing from both personal experience as part of a remarried couple and professional expertise working with remarried couples, Dr. Bowden addresses unique challenges such as healing from emotional wounds, navigating step-parenting, and managing the nuances of sexual intimacy and finances in remarriage contexts. This is particularly important considering remarriages have higher divorce rates than first marriages.

What's the key to a stronger marriage connection? Dr. Bowden emphasizes that happy marriages don't emerge from a lack of conflict but from consistent repair after disconnections and abundant positive interactions. Contrary to popular belief, strong marriages aren't defined by an absence of problems but rather by the couple's ability to work through issues, repair hurts, and maintain positive connections throughout their relationship.

For couples seeking more personalized premarital preparation, Dr. Bowden offers his "Before We Say I Do" program through his Center for Marriage Preparation. This intensive program includes a comprehensive workbook with over 750 discussion questions covering more than 40 topics, instructional videos, and eight sessions with a relationship educator.

Whether utilizing the free resources available through StrongerMarriage.org or seeking more personalized preparation, the message is clear: intentional, proactive, and consistent work creates the foundation for a strong marriage. By investing in preparation before marriage, couples significantly increase their chances of building a lasting, satisfying relationship.